There is this idea that the sheer volume of recorded music somehow devalues the commercial viability of records. This is commonly espoused by the self-appointed industry gate-keepers. It's just not true. If anything, the majors cheapen music when they shove yet another auto-tuned hack waving her T&A in our faces. If Ke$ha sells more singles than the Beatles, clearly something is ass-backwards
What the gate-keepers don't realize is they are the ones that inspired us to take up music to begin with. So if you don't want new musicians, new media then stop making music in the first place.
Even when we consider how little we spend on arts education, there is never a shortage of new talent. And since none of us were born knowing how to play, we've always aspired to the greatness we've seen in others.
If your lawn wasn't so nice, I wouldn't want to play in your yard.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
How to be a pro musician
Ok, listen up, because I'm only going to go over this once. I don't care what level of chops you have. 90% of what we are looking for here is guys who are pros. I know cats who were pros at 13 and couldn't actually play their way out of a paper bag. I'm not talking about chops. 70% of the music out there doesn't require a ton of chops to play. You could barely know 40% of the notes on your instrument and probably get through a bunch of gigs. So here's how to be a pro- you do this stuff, and you'll get work.
1) Communicate with the contractor/leader. If you get a text for a gig, it's cool to text back. A phone call warrants a phone call. Etc. However you are contacted, then reply back. I've booked gigs via DM on twitter. But communicate. It should never take longer than 12 hours to get back to someone unless you have been hit by a car or stabbed by a stripper. If you can't do that: stay off the fucking bandstand.
2) Be a team player. A team player is responsible for their own shit and accountable to everyone else in the band. I welcome anybody to tell me when I'm not holding my end up. Frankly, it very rarely happens, but I take care of it when it does. If there's something I can't execute, I practice it until I can, or I can prove to myself or anyone else that I'm playing this my absolute best. The last thing I want to do is trip on my dick and spoil it for the rest of the band. If you can't do that: stay off the fucking bandstand.
3) Playing music costs you money unless you are a fucking Beatle. There's a billion dollar industry around accessories. Reeds, stirngs, mutes, straps, you name it. I'm not buying you a bowtie or any of that other shit. I've dumped countless dough I've never recouped into sounding good. I've bought sets of strings I've never touched, just to have a set of spares. Do you know how long it takes to re-string an upright? I bust a string, I'd have to spend the rest of the gig fixing it. But so what, I have what I need and a spare. I took an entire Fender Jazz in pieces on the road once to Mexico because I knew there wouldn't be parts there. So bring all your shit (see 2 above). And if you cant do that..... stay off the fucking bandstand.
4) Learn to sight read. Nobody is going to pay you to practice. That or get an encyclopedic knowledge of the styles you are going to play. Western Europeans love printed music. It's not the end-all be all. If you know the language, a chart just gets in the way. But you have two choices. Ace the sight reading, or know how to play your ass off. If you can't do one of those things, or ideally both, then you can be anywhere else but the Fucking bandstand.
5) Commit. Commit to your art. Commit to yourself and have some self respect. If you read the history of music, you will find people who died for their art. Actual, no-shit, dead as a stick. Does it get more serious? This can be fun. It's SUPPOSED to be fun. Putting up with somebody who doesn't give a damn about their art just pisses everyone off. If you can't commit, then get off the fucking bandstand before somebody THROWS you off.
6) Learn some history. If I ask you who your influences are, you should have an answer. This is what musicians do to learn about each other. If we were dogs, we'd sniff each others asses, but we are musicians. And as an aside, there's a difference between an influence and artists you admire. There's cats I love that I play nothing like. If you don't know any of the history of the music you are playing, say it with me: stay off the fucking bandstand.
7) Somebody else wants your gig. And guess what? They play better than you do. And they don't pull any of your childish bullshit. So better to not even get on the bandstand in the first place.
8) There is no lottery. You want to stay in your basement, smoke grass and pull your pud, I'm not going to stop you. STAY THERE. If you think ascending in your career involves steps 1-7 above, go prove me wrong. But prove it from somewhere else than my fucking bandstand.
You can't be a lumberjack if you can't hold your end of the log.
1) Communicate with the contractor/leader. If you get a text for a gig, it's cool to text back. A phone call warrants a phone call. Etc. However you are contacted, then reply back. I've booked gigs via DM on twitter. But communicate. It should never take longer than 12 hours to get back to someone unless you have been hit by a car or stabbed by a stripper. If you can't do that: stay off the fucking bandstand.
2) Be a team player. A team player is responsible for their own shit and accountable to everyone else in the band. I welcome anybody to tell me when I'm not holding my end up. Frankly, it very rarely happens, but I take care of it when it does. If there's something I can't execute, I practice it until I can, or I can prove to myself or anyone else that I'm playing this my absolute best. The last thing I want to do is trip on my dick and spoil it for the rest of the band. If you can't do that: stay off the fucking bandstand.
3) Playing music costs you money unless you are a fucking Beatle. There's a billion dollar industry around accessories. Reeds, stirngs, mutes, straps, you name it. I'm not buying you a bowtie or any of that other shit. I've dumped countless dough I've never recouped into sounding good. I've bought sets of strings I've never touched, just to have a set of spares. Do you know how long it takes to re-string an upright? I bust a string, I'd have to spend the rest of the gig fixing it. But so what, I have what I need and a spare. I took an entire Fender Jazz in pieces on the road once to Mexico because I knew there wouldn't be parts there. So bring all your shit (see 2 above). And if you cant do that..... stay off the fucking bandstand.
4) Learn to sight read. Nobody is going to pay you to practice. That or get an encyclopedic knowledge of the styles you are going to play. Western Europeans love printed music. It's not the end-all be all. If you know the language, a chart just gets in the way. But you have two choices. Ace the sight reading, or know how to play your ass off. If you can't do one of those things, or ideally both, then you can be anywhere else but the Fucking bandstand.
5) Commit. Commit to your art. Commit to yourself and have some self respect. If you read the history of music, you will find people who died for their art. Actual, no-shit, dead as a stick. Does it get more serious? This can be fun. It's SUPPOSED to be fun. Putting up with somebody who doesn't give a damn about their art just pisses everyone off. If you can't commit, then get off the fucking bandstand before somebody THROWS you off.
6) Learn some history. If I ask you who your influences are, you should have an answer. This is what musicians do to learn about each other. If we were dogs, we'd sniff each others asses, but we are musicians. And as an aside, there's a difference between an influence and artists you admire. There's cats I love that I play nothing like. If you don't know any of the history of the music you are playing, say it with me: stay off the fucking bandstand.
7) Somebody else wants your gig. And guess what? They play better than you do. And they don't pull any of your childish bullshit. So better to not even get on the bandstand in the first place.
8) There is no lottery. You want to stay in your basement, smoke grass and pull your pud, I'm not going to stop you. STAY THERE. If you think ascending in your career involves steps 1-7 above, go prove me wrong. But prove it from somewhere else than my fucking bandstand.
You can't be a lumberjack if you can't hold your end of the log.
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