A few weeks ago, you posted a blog "Is It Worth It?" Everyone else can check it out at http://christopherhodges.com/blog/2010/12/16/is-it-worth-it/
You ask the age old question of how to balance music with everything else. Let me assure you that you are not alone. Everybody goes through this question multiple times. So the short answer is yes, of course. So long as it is still what you need to do.
I'll give you a few examples. One is the drummer in my group. I haven't seen him in quite a while, probably over a year. He was up front with me, and said that he wanted to spend all the time he could with his son before his son finishes high school and leaves for college. He knows that he only has a few years left and wants to make the most of it. Do I think he is no longer a drummer? Of course not. Will he be calling me every week to play or hang very soon? He will. But for him, the best choice was to put family first. I can't really fault that.
Another example. I don't have children for a variety of reasons. One of them is that I never wanted to leave them alone while I play gigs. Now, I don't point this out to make you feel horrible. It's just an example. Most adult musicians have children and leaving them is part of the deal. You leave for work too. Has to be done. For these cats playing has to be done too.
The best thing to do is ask yourself is each situation worth it. Even with kids out of the equation, I came to a crossroads where I had to decide if I could continue to live in two worlds. I reasoned the whole point of a day gig is to provide for my wife and I. So doing that half-way, and playing pro half-way wasn't getting me anywhere. Perhaps I chose the easier path (though bass players never have to worry about being outsourced to India), but working on my career got me closer to the concept of "security" that got me to fill out an application to begin with.
However it hasn't been 100% career. I play at least 1 night a week, more right now. I've made certain choices like turning down transfers because I didn't want to quit a band. I live close to work, so I can spend more time practicing and writing than commuting. I use vacation time to play gigs or go on short tours.
It does mean that I have to prioritize gigs. I base the worth of a gig on three categories. Bread/Music/Hang. The formula isn't exact, but as an example if the bread is awesome, but if the music and hang stink I might take it. Other gigs I take just for the hang. Especially since my day gig is now a career, the bread is often the least of my worries. So for many gigs, the evaluation fails on many levels and I just don't do it. More time to spend with family or on housework or paying bills.
You do have to ask yourself: is being a full time pro the only way to feel connected to music?What you really might be trying to do is determine your own self worth. This is a tough question and I suggest you keep exploring this question through music. It's taken me a long time to get to a space where I'm ok with what I do musically and otherwise. You will get there too in time.
Peace,
Matt
Matt,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you taking the time to respond like this.
Since I was ten or eleven, music has been all I have wanted to do. I am pretty successful in my area (and was when I lived in Atlanta) and I maintain a solid playing schedule both with my band and as a freelancer. I can't say for sure it's not a self worth thing but I really think it's deeper than that. My perception of worth as a human being is completely tied up in my family...the music is just...something I have to do, I guess...